"There is nothing to writing...all you do is sit down at the typewriter and bleed." ~Ernest Hemingway

The infamous post-it note...friend or foe?

I really like technology…really, I do. I love having a telephone with which I can call a friend from the middle of nowhere by a beautiful lake, though there is not a phone booth in sight. I also really enjoy being able to work using my laptop computer while people-watching at the mall on a Friday afternoon.

Believe it or not, I even appreciate the convenience of the self-checkout line at the grocery store! How many of us used to think, when we were children, how much fun it must be to ring up people’s groceries and bag them up? Now I get to do that any time I want to! But in spite of all this excitement and ease provided by the use of modern gadgets, there is one thing I have simply not been able to part with: the always faithful Post-it note.

Now, I know I could write notes to myself in the memo section of my cell phone. That is, after all, what the memo section is there for, right? Things like grocery lists, reminders to pick up the dry cleaning, perhaps even recipes or directions to that weekend barbecue I was invited to attend. I could store all of this right there in the memo section of my phone. But isn’t that why Dr. Spencer Silver introduced his mildly sticky and oh-so-useful paper invention to the world in 1977? He foresaw people like me with our reminder notes stuck to our computer screens, our front doors, even the outside of our wallets (remember the grocery list?), and he knew he was providing a valuable tool.

So, what is my point with all of this? It’s simple: I like my Post-it notes because they work for me.

In business, as in my personal life, there are things that are just simpler for me…like Post-it notes. They save me time and energy, freeing me to work more productively by helping me to remember important things. The catch is, what works for me, the things that make my daily tasks more easily completed are not the same for everyone else around me.

Just because something works well for one person does not mean it will work well for someone else. It is important to sort through these issues objectively and choose for ourselves what works for each of us. Let’s consider a few basic points that are sometimes cause for raised eyebrows and whispered suggestions that someone just hasn’t caught up with “progress” just yet.

Are you a techno-gadget guru? Some people are. I have a family member who keeps her entire life in her iPhone. Everything from schedules to shopping lists, driving directions, questions to bring up at her next business meeting, even an alarm set to sound off and remind her to file her tax return. She carries no paper tablet or notebook, everything is noted in her phone and she likes it that way. It obviously works for her because she is seldom late for anything, she never forgets things she needs to purchase, and yes, her tax return was filed on time. I will not be buying her a set of personalized Post-it notes for Christmas this year.

Other folks are known by baristas and waiters city-wide as “the guy with the laptop computer permanently attached to his right hip” because everywhere they go, they have their computer case in hand. These are the efficiency-minded people who return emails during lunch, send notes to their kids while researching flights and lodging for their next business trip, and scan the latest trade journals online while having a phone conversation with a potential new client. They are accomplished multi-taskers, and their laptop has all the latest high-speed gadgetry that guarantees them rapid communication with minimal delay in obtaining information. Their computer is insured so that repairs are fast and inexpensive, because life without their computer would be no life at all. And guess what? They like it that way.

See where I’m going with this? Some people would rather use a notebook and pen, carry a calculator, keep an address book and directly dial their phone calls, and wait until they are back in the office to check emails or other electronic correspondence. Incidentally, these are the sort of people who probably still use post-it notes. Others are more than willing to jump headlong into modern technological methods of communication and business, leaving no paper trail and having very little need of a recycle bin. Both methods work perfectly for those who are comfortable with each one…neither method is right for both sets of people.

What about basic communication? How do we feel about email versus phone calls, or one-on-one conversations versus addressing an entire group at one time? In an era where productivity is valued and entrepreneurs are always searching for ways to accomplish more in less time, it is important that we recognize that people are not the same as the gadgets we employ every day in our business activities. People are not computers or databanks that can be turned on or off at our discretion, and communication has two sides: the giver of information on one side, the receiver of that information on the other. Both must be considered carefully for successful interaction to occur.

It is easy to get caught up in pursuing the next client, expanding our business base, or viewing people as demographic statistics rather than as individuals…but people are individuals, so every interchange of thoughts should be formed with that in mind. Some people are able to communicate more clearly in writing than in person, while others simply cannot convey an idea clearly unless they are standing in the presence of the person with whom they want to share their thought. Once again, what works for one person may not work for someone else, and this can create bumpy terrain for professional communication.

For example: What if my most effective means of communication is through writing, but the person with whom I need to communicate is not adept at understanding written concepts? Perhaps for them, the easiest method of exchanging ideas is through one-on-one verbal conversation. Now what? As a business person, it falls to me to understand a client or colleague’s preferences in this area, and to then make every effort to communicate in the way that is best for them.

It matters not if I feel that I have conveyed my thoughts to them in the way that is most comfortable for me, if they come away unclear about my intentions or with only minimal understanding of the concept I attempted to convey.  In other words, if the other person can’t “get it”, then I haven’t done an effective job of communicating.

As entrepreneurs who support the efforts of our colleagues and co-laborers in the world of business, can we recognize that there is usually more than one way to get something done, and that it is rarely an issue of a “right way” or a “wrong way” to reach the desired end? Everyone has different styles, different preferences, and different methods that work for them. Making room for these differences allows us all to function at our best and also invites the beauty of individuality into the often mundane tasks that fill certain portions of our time.

I won’t poke fun at your affection for your iPhone if you don’t tease me about my affinity for Post-it notes... we should get along just fine.

The Bondage of Possessions

Closet organizers…stacker trays for our desks…extra sturdy storage boxes…special labels, stickers and tabs…post-it notes to remind us to pay the storage bill…reminders to buy more post-it notes…what do all of these have in common? They are the period at the end of our sentence describing the daily chore of keeping our stuff in order. Boxes for paperwork, prize ribbons, and particular paraphernalia. Trays for tracing the trail of endless tedious tasks. Organizers ominously loaded with obviously outdated objects. How much energy does all of this material require of us, and do we really want to allot that time to the handling of…well, “stuff”?

“40% of cleaning isn’t actually cleaning – it’s time spent digging past, carrying, relocating, and protecting stuff…” Shocking? That statement comes from Don Aslett, foremost cleaning expert in America. Maybe this statistic is not as earth-shattering as the procreation rate of the average cockroach, but definitely something we should take a serious look at if we are at all concerned about our own productivity. Much has been written about how to keep our lives, closets, desks, paperwork, even our car’s glove compartment in order, but let’s get to the point: Here in America we are inundated with possessions almost to the point of smothering. Adjusting our view on possessions, prioritizing between things we actually need versus things we just want to have, will help us to be more productive by reducing the distraction and stress in our everyday environment.

How do we decide which items are truly important and which just contribute to the chaos that weighs us down? A few simple steps will bring clarity to our clutter:

1. Prioritize safekeeping for precious items that are irreplaceable. I have always kept a “house-fire duffel bag” in a closet near the front door of my home. Inside that bag are the most precious things in the world to me, things that I will want to grab and carry as I run away from my burning house if that should ever occur. Keeping the items in a fire-proof container inside the bag is a good idea to ensure that they survive an actual fire. In any emergency, that bag is my priority of objects to grab once I know that my family is safe.
2. Keep daily-use items handy. Whether you are a chef, an accountant, or a construction worker, there are tools you will use for your trade every single day. Keep those tools within a short reach, maintaining a “home” for them to always return to. For example: the items on my desk are always in the same place, giving me extra space for books and research materials related to my current writing project and providing a non-chaotic environment in which for me to write. A chef would want certain items within easy reach at all times without having to dig through drawers or cupboards for them. A carpenter will want particular tools on their tool belt, ready for quick use and easy to stow away without being misplaced. Whatever your work is, be realistic about what you need at your immediate disposal and what could be stowed away for only occasional use.
3. Purge regularly! Be honest now: Do you really need two copies of the same book, or fourteen paperweights?  Unless you truly employ the use of multiples in your work, downsize where you can get rid of excess. Donate the unneeded items to a charity, or perhaps to a fledgling business just getting started. This is an especially helpful tool when applied to clothing. If I haven’t worn something for a full year, I’m probably not going to and I can pass it on without regret. Same goes for extra electronic charging cables, camera parts, old cell phones, computer accessories, printers, and other items I tend to end up with extras of.
4. Use your filing cabinet creatively. Seriously, filing cabinets…they’re not just for papers anymore! Designate one drawer to be a “once-a-month clean-up” drawer, then once every month empty it out by donating, selling, or trashing everything in it. This keeps miscellaneous clutter from occupying useable space on your desk or countertop, and allows you to realize at the end of the month just how much you did NOT miss those items in the drawer. This concept can easily be applied to the home, office, and vehicle.
5.  Avoid the temptation to “buy ahead” or to “stock up just in case”. Some things are worth purchasing in bulk, and it makes good business sense to buy in quantity those items that you use regularly. However…do you really have room to store one hundred post-it-note tablets? Better yet, do you need to have that many? Many times the cost savings is not worth the stress of having to make room for more…yup, you guessed it…”stuff”.
6. When in doubt, ask someone for help! Sometimes it is far easier for someone else to decide which of our belongings are necessary and which are not. A friend will not be so closely “attached” or “sentimental” about our possessions, so asking for constructive input can be very helpful in resolving clutter chaos.

 All of these principles can be applied not only to objects occupying our physical space, but also to those intangible elements that take up space in our thoughts and our schedules. Just as we should be aware of clutter in our environment, we need to be mindful of piles accumulating in our minds and in the hours allotted to us in our day. Free space for creative imagination and forward dreaming is critical to our success as human beings, business people, parents, friends, siblings, and neighbors…we simply must have available areas for thoughts and plans to develop.

Jumbled schedules, commonly known as “flying by the seat of our pants”, can lead us to scattered thought processes and unproductive wheel-spinning. On the other hand, trying to adhere to a rigid schedule that allows no flexibility increases stress and also reduces productivity.

What’s the answer?

Be realistic about what you can truly expect to accomplish in a given period of time, and allow yourself a buffer zone for the unexpected. Delegate or re-schedule activities that can wait, and focus on the more pressing items first. This keeps your mind relaxed and able to focus on the task at hand, while also making room for those “Eureka moments”, those flares of creative inspiration that tend to occur most often when our thoughts have a little energy left to run on their own. (For more details on priorities and effective time management, read “Bicycle races and time management”.)

To wrap up this discussion in a neat and tidy box, remember that “a wise man will avoid all extremes”. Clutter and chaos in our lives can hinder us from living a life of success and inward peace, while excessive persnickitiness about perfect alignment of our silverware in its drawer will drive us insane in the end. Finding the balance can be a challenge, but the results are amazing, invigorating, and liberating.

Best wishes, and please share how you keep yourself free of clutter!

From the mouths of dogs and horses...

Someone very dear to me recently said he was thinking of starting a blog. Of course, I became very excited and had all sorts of ideas, because blogs are right up my alley! Then I listened to what he was really saying...he was thinking of starting a blog that would be written from Blackie's perspective. Blackie's wisdom amassed through the years, the way Blackie would see things and how she might change the world. The odd thing is...Blackie is a dog.

My friend also has extensive experience raising horses, and has such an obvious love for these stately animals that it is a joy to listen to him talk about the years he has spent with them. It is interesting to me the way he so easily understands a horse's emotions, their fears or hesitations, the driving forces behind their innate behaviors, what makes them tick. Why will some horses run right through a fence, while others are content to graze and enjoy the sun inside an enclosed pasture...why will some horses affectionately nuzzle your neck and nicker, while others will just as quick spin and throw a kick that could remove your head from your shoulders in one clean blow? My friend just knows...he knows the heart of a horse and he sees value in the thoughts of a sweet little dog.

Some people are just like that...perceptive. They seem to pay attention to the world around themselves more than the rest of us, catching details that most of us miss and realizing the importance of small things. I want to be more like that. It seems to me that most horses, unless you hurt them first or give them some reason to not trust you, will usually choose your friendship. Most dogs are the same way...loyal, affectionate, always seeking a way to please the one on whom their faithfulness rests. Perhaps my friend learned these traits from the four-legged folks he has treasured through the years. Maybe his long walks with Blackie embedded patience and kindness into his heart and left it there to grow until it spilled over to other people. Long nights attending the arrival of a new foal may have shown him the committed care of a parent for her offspring and developed an unshakable respect for the miracle that life truly is. With all of his education and valuable training, perhaps the most beautiful traits in his character were born of the wisdom of these creatures penetrating his being and sharing their positive instinctual elements with his own genetic code.

In light of all this, I guess I really shouldn't be surprised that the idea of writing a blog from Blackie's viewpoint crossed my friend's mind. Think about it: If we could hear the thoughts and perceptions of a being who sees the world every day through eyes that are not jaded with cynicism, not pre-programmed to defensiveness, who has no idea what sarcasm even is, who is genetically wired to give their all in support of the ones they love...if we could listen to the advice of such an entity, what might we learn? I also should not be startled when my friend relates examples of horse behavior to everyday situations we all face. How humbling to realize  that a creature with no power of forming verbal words, who cannot put pen to paper to leave a legacy of phrases for future generations, can teach me so many things that I do not know.

I guess I'll just look forward to hearing what my friend...er...um...what Blackie says next.

Bicycle Races and Time Management

Spinning your wheels is a great idea if you are in a bicycle race. But when those spinning wheels take precious time out of our day, we feel robbed and ineffective…and rightly so.

A dear friend of mine had an exceedingly frustrating experience this morning. He was working on a proposal for a new client, and had assembled a quantity of necessary information provided to him by his business partner. He spent a great deal of time crunching the numbers, listing the cost of products and labor required for the project, and finalizing a professional presentation for the client. At the last minute, realizing that he could include a couple more pieces of information in order to make the proposal even more comprehensive, he made a few calls…only to discover that his entire proposal was inaccurate by quite a large sum. The problem was that he had counted on the information provided by his partner to be accurate, but it was not. In the end he had to research the project data himself, revise the cost estimates, and completely re-write the presentation.

Do you hear that tell-tale whirrrrrrrring sound? That is the distinctive sound of tires spinning. My friend heard it this morning as he realized that the hours of work spent on his original proposal were for naught, that his new client’s proposal had to be re-done from scratch. It’s not a pleasant sound. The odd thing is, his partner’s day went on as if all was as it should be; he did not realize the valuable time his lack of attention to detail had stolen from my friend.

Now, spinning your own wheels and having someone else spin them for you can be two different problems. But in both cases there are clear opportunities for solutions to this two-wheeled dilemma that so easily takes us off-road: 

1. Basic time management demands that we account for our time, how we spend it, and whether that expenditure is actually beneficial to our business. Activities that very strongly affect daily business success (I call these “high-return endeavors”) are simply more crucial than activities that will make little difference even if they are ignored for a time (I call these “low-return endeavors”). Becoming mindful of “where the time goes” helps us to identify areas where we may be using time unwisely or spending it on low-return endeavors that could be set aside in favor of high-return endeavors. This is particularly important for the entrepreneur who faces a multitude of various daily tasks all aimed at increasing or promoting their business.
2. Planning our necessary activities, with sufficient time allotted in order to allow for the successful completion of each one, gives us a “blueprint” from which to work. When we feel distracted or lose our focus, we remind ourselves to simply “stick to the plan” and get back on track. Keeping a datebook and making lists are helpful tools.
   
3. Prioritizing our tasks assists us in focusing on “first things first”. The most important tasks of the day are given priority over less critical tasks that can wait until another time without negative repercussions.
   
4. Schedules, appointments, and deadlines are noted and provided with a cushion of time to ensure they are adhered to. If a project absolutely must be completed by a certain date, perhaps we schedule ourselves to complete it the day before…just in case we end up needing extra time for those finishing touches. Plan to be early for appointments, and even if you encounter unexpected traffic or other delays, you have a good chance of still being right on time.
   
5. Avoid over-committing! Commonly referred to as the “Superman complex”, the habit of over-committing leads to taking on more than we can handle and sets us up for almost certain disappointment. We do not have to leap tall buildings in a single bound when just getting through the stack of paperwork on our desk will suffice. There is a lot to do when running a business…but we cannot do it all at one time. This is a great time to review #3 if over-committing is a problem for you. Leave the cape and tights at home, there is no bonus pay for Super-Heroes at the office!
6. Learn to delegate. We absolutely cannot afford to nurture the attitude that says “if I want this done right, I have to do it myself”. We simply cannot do everything ourselves, and it is sound business practice to share the load when you have others working with you who can shoulder some of the weight.
7. Respect your time…and everyone else’s. As we apply these principles to managing our own time, we can develop sensitivity to those around us as well. Their time is as precious as ours, and no one enjoys being treated as though their time is of no value.

I’m sure my friend would have appreciated his partner taking the time to check his information for accuracy before asking him to compile a proposal based on that exact data. Time lost cannot be retrieved and business relationships are often hindered by a seeming lack of respect shown for other people’s resource of precious time.

Our “Time Account” and it’s checkbook:

Think of the hours and minutes in your day as a sort of checking account, one that holds the balance of time allotted to you for that day. You can spend that time in any way you choose, but you must spend it all by day’s end…there is no such thing as a savings account for time. Others may try to dip into that checking account on your behalf, either with or without your permission. You have the choice of allowing them some of your time, or closing your checkbook until they explain to your satisfaction the exact purpose of the withdrawal they are requesting. No matter what, if someone uses a portion of your time foolishly, you may very well feel as though you have been robbed…and rightly so.

Bear in mind that everyone else also has this same checkbook full of a day’s worth of time, and you do not want to be the inconsiderate thief who steals their resources, just as you do not want them to steal yours.

At the end of the day, assess the activities of your day and decide if there is anything left over that was not completed as planned. If so, that item should be at or near the top of your list of things to do tomorrow. Congratulate yourself on the tasks you did complete, and remember that tomorrow you will have a fresh start. With a little practice, you will lie down to sleep in peace and quiet…without the sound of spinning tires to bother you.

The Fine Art of Communication...Part 2

Part 2: Floors are not just for standing on!

Resources abound that teach us effective ways to speak. Seminars, books, and online study groups thrive, with the objective of helping entrepreneurs to effectively convey information, whether to a large audience or to an individual. These resources are immensely helpful, enabling us to effectively transfer ideas, dreams, and the passion that drives us, in the hopes of enriching and empowering others in their own pursuits. Effective speaking is indeed a valuable skill, but so is its reciprocal: skilled listening. Either one without the other is about as useful as a glove with no hand inside.

The skill of listening intently has become something of a lost art, which is accounted for by several factors. This list is by no means exhaustive, but provides definite food for thought:

• The bombardment of our senses by a plethora of modern inventions, interruptions, and inbound information can easily put us into “overload”, making it difficult to focus our attention.
• A general sense of “being behind”, which causes us to feel stress over the amount of time specific tasks or situations demand, elicits pressure to accomplish more in less time, with fewer resources.
• Basic human pride enters the picture at times when we assume that what someone else has to say is just not important enough for us to take the time to hear. This is a sad commentary on our view of humanity in general.
• The very real demands of daily life do take a great deal of time, stretching our energy and patience, sometimes to the breaking point.
• Simple things such as a high intake of caffeine and/or insufficient sleep can make it difficult to pay attention when someone else is speaking. Adrenaline overload and fatigue are enemies to effective entrepreneurship.
• “Multi-tasking”, though considered by many to be an enviable skill that enables an individual to perform several tasks simultaneously, may actually result in very few of those tasks being accomplished well…especially if one of those tasks is to listen attentively to someone who is speaking.

Clearly, there are numerous obstacles to effective listening already arrayed against us in the form of ordinary distractions inherent to our modern lives. An activity that should come naturally instead requires a concerted effort. This might be a simple task if two people are standing alone in the deep woods with no telephones, computers, doorbells, or car alarms to intrude with jarring distractions. But the fact is, we function in a society where such intrusions exist, so we must learn to be proficient listeners even in the midst of chaos. Offering a speaker our full attention and intently absorbing their words, whether in a large conference setting or in a one-on-one conversation, affirms the value of what they share and allows us to participate in their experience. How can we do this more successfully?

First, a bit of humility is in order. Standing back and taking a realistic view of ourselves should help remove any pedestal upon which we may have unrealistically placed ourselves, and allow us a minute or two to brush off the dirt resulting from our tumble. In short, we need to realize that though we may be highly educated and experienced in our field, we can still learn much from an encounter with another person. The most learned scholar might never have memorized the exact same line in a classic poem as one of his own students, and even the most highly skilled surgeon may benefit from the intuitive insight of a medical intern half his age. We are all life’s pupils on this big blue ball, and it would be to our credit to remember that not one of us has the corner on the market where knowledge and understanding are concerned.

Second, we must realize that someone “has the floor”…and it’s the other guy! That seems simple enough, right? It’s just not our turn to speak! The phrase “having the floor” is addressed in Robert’s Rules of Order, which were formalized in 1915 and govern parliamentary procedure in the U.S. to this day. The phrase is summarized: “Obtain the floor (the right to speak) by being the first to stand when the person speaking has finished; state Mr./Madam Chairman. Raising your hand means nothing, and standing while another has the floor is out of order!”  So, “having the floor” means that the speaker has the right to speak without interruption from persons listening, and that said speaker retains that right until purposely relinquishing it or until the designated time limit for speaking has been reached. A popular tool used by family counselors is that of the “speaker/listener” method, wherein a couple or a family chooses an object to represent “having the floor”, and as long as the person doing the speaking holds that item, they are not to be interrupted. This method is very useful when individuals are having difficulty communicating effectively, or when arguments are common. The basic practice goes something like this:

1. One person “has the floor”, and thus holds in their hand the designated object signifying that they are the speaker.
2. The speaker shares in short portions what they would like to communicate.
3. The listener(s) repeat back what the speaker said, in their own words but adhering as closely to the speaker’s intent as they are able to understand, in order to be certain that they heard the speaker correctly.
4. If the listener(s) heard the speaker correctly, the speaker goes on with the next small portion of their sharing, but if the listener(s) did not accurately perceive the speaker’s previous point, the speaker should re-phrase what they said so that the listener(s) come to grasp their meaning.
5. This goes on until the speaker is finished, at which time he/she hands the object to the listener who then “has the floor” to share what they want to say.
6. At any point, a listener may respectfully ask for clarification, or simply say “I don’t understand, could you re-phrase that?”, but they must save any of their own statements or comments for the time when they “have the floor”.
7. This process goes back and forth with each individual having opportunity to share, without interruption, and with relative certainty that the other individual(s) involved will gain a firm understanding of the point(s) they meant to convey.

You might be thinking this is an extreme length to go to for a conversation. But in situations where perhaps communication has broken down or disagreements are frequent, it is a valuable tool for opening lines of dialogue and encouraging active listening. In this setting, passively allowing what a speaker says to travel into one ear, through the grey matter, and out the other side of the skull will not suffice because the listener has to actually re-iterate what the speaker said in order to ensure understanding. The listener must engage their brain and focus on not only the words the speaker utters, but must assimilate the speaker’s intent. 

One of the most common pitfalls in communication is that of racing ahead in our minds. We might be intently watching the person speaking, occasionally even nodding our head in assent to an idea, all the while we are already plunging ahead to organize what we will say in rebuttal to, or even in agreement with their statements. Guess what folks; the human brain just doesn’t work that way. When our brain is occupied with planning a response, we are no longer taking in information but have ceased listening altogether. It is crucial that we focus our energy when it is time to listen, remembering that at such times someone else “has the floor”… and it is not us.

Lastly, we must recognize the importance of effective listening. American culture typically does not hold in high regard the qualities of meekness or quiet observance to the same degree that we honor eloquent speech and confidence before an audience. Consider the way doctors honor the work of nurses, builders respect the talent of interior designers, and astronauts recognize that part of their own safety stems from the skill of technicians who construct the space shuttle. They are all parts of a successful venture, each doing their part. As business people, we must assume the responsibilities not only to communicate clearly to others, but to willingly assume the role of listener not only because it is unavoidable at times, but because listening well is a vital skill that honors the individual who is speaking and allows for a valuable exchange of ideas.

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”  ~Winston Churchill

The Fine Art of Communication...Part 1

Part 1: Turn it “UP”!

In today’s world of fax machines, high-speed internet, cell phones, and just about every conceivable method of conveying information at the touch of a finger, effective verbal conversations often seem to have gone the way of the dinosaur. Rather than setting aside time for a face-to-face discussion, we prefer to send a blanket email to our entire office in order to avoid having to repeat ourselves, or we offer up a meager five minute time slot to an employee or colleague who asks to discuss a situation. We have become a society of sound bites, text messages, and “tweets”, short interactions that relegate our conversations to the safety zone of shallow, impersonal exchanges. But while these tools are designed to increase our productivity by enabling us to share more data more quickly, we may be paying a higher price than we realize for the privilege.

Many of us have seen the cartoon where a wife is sitting in her living room while her husband mixes up a cup of morning coffee in the adjacent kitchen…while she sends him a text message from her cell phone that says, “Good morning”. We chuckle at this prospect, seemingly ridiculous as it is, but there is an element of truth in this comic scene that we dare not ignore. That is the element of “de-personalized communication”.

What is de-personalized communication? In a nutshell, it is communication that is sterile, impersonal, designed to be carried swiftly to the recipient but having no one-on-one connection. Referring back to the example above, it is the difference between the husband reading the words “Good morning” in plain printed text on a cell phone screen, and hearing those same words in the familiar, endearing voice of his wife. This may seem like splitting hairs, but consider a few important differences between text and voice communication:

• A live voice carries inflections of emotion…printed text is devoid of any emotional affectation.
• A live voice can be reassuring in its familiarity…printed text could arise from anywhere, thus familiarity is absent.
• Taking the time to actually speak with someone establishes the initiator’s priorities…a printed message can leave the recipient feeling as though they are not a high priority.
• Perhaps most importantly, face to face interaction opens the possibility of a dialogue…printed communications are one-sided and do not necessarily invite feedback or interaction.

Moving this example from the comments between spouses to the interactions between colleagues, we see similarities that can help us to communicate more effectively and reduce stress in the workplace caused by lost memos and accidentally deleted text messages. Of course, technology is a blessing when it is used to our benefit, but when overused it becomes as deadly to professional enthusiasm as sugar is to a diabetic. Some information is actually communicated more effectively through some form of print/text media, as is the case with business-related data, schedules, financial information, etc. But interpersonal issues that occur in just about every business are exactly that: issues between two or more persons…not two or more computer screens, memo pads, or blog posts. Essentially, as entrepreneurs, we must purposely develop the daily habit of seeing others as individualsand relating to them as such in positive tones. Let’s explore a couple of specific methods for practicing the art of positive communication, because the benefits of cultivating this skill are well worth the effort!


Turn it UP!

This concept I simply refer to as “UP”. “UP” is an anachronism for “Unmitigated Positiveness”. I’ll be blunt here. I don’t care who you are, where you live, what challenges you are facing, or what kind of business you’re in, every single day there is something positive that you can speak! Work may be hard to find, clients may be slow to pay, colleagues may seem unreliable, bills may be piling on your desk, but there is still something positive to be spoken. It’s a re-working of the classic “is the glass half empty or half full” question. For example: You arrive at your office, pour yourself a cup of coffee, and realize that the sugar dispenser is empty. So much for that perfect cup-o-joe you were dreaming of! Now you have two choices: you can either walk to the corner store for some sugar, or you can drink your coffee without it. There are complaint possibilities written all over this scenario because let’s face it; messing up a person’s first morning cup of coffee can be tantamount to running over your cat on your way out of the garage! But employing the “UP” principle, we are stuck withUnmitigated Positiveness”…so instead of complaining and setting the tone of your day to be negative and irritable, you can choose to say “Well, it is a beautiful morning for a quick walk to the store”, or “It would be healthy to cut back on my sugar intake anyway”, depending on which option you choose to pursue. But it gets better!

“UP” also stands for “Unlimited Possibilities”. Let’s continue using the coffee example, with you now on your way through the fresh morning breezes toward the nearest grocery market. You are energized by the cool air, your spirits are lifted by the bustling activity of local businesses opening for the day, and just when it couldn’t get any better, sugar happens to be on sale and there is only one person ahead of you in the checkout line. While waiting your turn, you can’t help but overhear the customer in front of you chatting with the store employee about his current search for a particular professional service…one that happens to be the exact service in which your own company specializes! On your way out the door you introduce yourself, exchange business cards, and chat briefly about this new acquaintance’s current project. After bidding each other farewell, you return to your office with not only your box of sugar, but also the possibility (catch that word “Possibility”?) of a new client. Now, obviously this is a fabricated scenario and not every circumstance yields the potential for new business…but some do. Remember, this is “Unlimited Possibilities”, not “absolute guarantees”. So, how does this relate to communicating positively? Here comes the jewel in the crown!

In the workplace, the common cold is not the only thing that is contagious. Outlooks, attitudes, and demeanors are just as infectious. If you want your colleagues and employees to be dour, irritable, and resistant to challenges, all you have to do is inject a grain of negativity into the environment. Not much, just a tiny bit will do because negativity multiplies like warts on a frog and pretty soon everyone is singing “Gloom, despair, and agony on me” in three part harmony. BUT, inject the same amount of “UP” into the day and see what happens. People feed off of the energy of those around them, so dole out copious amounts of UnmitigatedPositiveness and Unlimited Possibilities! Talk to those you interact with, and choose to use uplifting phrases and energizing terms. Instead of saying “We have to get this unhappy client to quit complaining…”, try saying “Let’s find the best solution to give this client confidence in our service”. Seems pretty trite, you say? Just try it. If nothing else, people tend to notice, even on a sub-conscious level, when someone purposely avoids negativity and pursues positive speech. Actually, positive speech tends to draw others to you much like a magnet because it touches the human need for affirmation and hope for a successful future.

To wrap up, let’s re-visit that concept of “de-personalized speech” and all those painfully sterile text messages, etc. As you pursue employing the “UP” principle, you will see how nearly impossible it is to remain “distant” in your communications from those around you. You will actually want to converse verbally simply because you have something helpful to say and you want your colleagues and clients to hear it directly from you! Remember, positive attitudes are just as contagious as their negative counterparts, leading to the habit of encouraging, uplifting, and productivity-producing words rolling off your tongue! So save the data transfer communications for just that: conveyance of facts and technical details. But when the opportunity exists for a personal exchange of real human voices, seize the moment and choose your words to build up the person with whom you are speaking. On a personal and professional level, both the speaker and the listener will be empowered.

The possibilities that positive communication can bring to your workplace are…well, unlimited!

Can I say that?

Your mouth goes dry. Your knees feel weak and squishy. There is a dull drumming forming somewhere in your own head and keeping time against your eardrums. The sweat slicking your palms soaks the paper in your hand, causing you sincere concern that you could electrocute yourself simply by touching any small appliance plugged into an electrical outlet. Your heart thunders in your chest, raspy breaths wheeze from your chest in irregular patterns, and the lights around you seem dizzyingly bright.  

No, you are neither a brain surgeon attempting a life-saving procedure on a patient, nor an astronaut embarking on a seven year trip through the far reaches of space. You are a technology whiz at your company, accustomed to fact-finding and data-crunching behind your computer screen…and you are scheduled to make a presentation to your co-workers, investors, an assortment of fifty or so individuals who just happen to think that what your company does is interesting, and a few hundred of all those individual’s closest colleagues. Not an audience to rival the Metropolitan Opera, but the thought of standing in front of all those people to speak has you literally on the verge of an aneurism.

Speaking before a large group does not have to be this terrifying sort of experience. By following several simple steps, you can make your next speaking opportunity not only tolerable, but downright enjoyable. Break out those notecards and let’s get to it!

1. Be prepared. This sounds simplistic, but the truth is that the better prepared you are, the less you have to fear. So do your research, be organized, and know your material. Preparation should also include having a bottle of water available… talking does make one thirsty, and having to interrupt yourself to ask someone for water may appear unprofessional.

2. Practice your main points. Unless you are speaking to a roomful of children, your audience will probably not enjoy your reading to them.  Know your main points and the general material covered under each so that your speech carries a conversational tone, even when discussing highly technical information.

3. Allow your personality to emerge. The impression you leave with your listeners depends not only on the information you present, but the experience of receiving that information from you. Be a real person, not a robot. You are not a computer spewing a data sheet from your printer output tray; you are a human being conveying ideas.

4. Stay on track. Straying too far into illustrations and unnecessary facts can confuse and overwhelm your audience.

5. Consider using printed handouts covering the most critical information you plan to share, so that your listeners have opportunity to mentally review your presentation later without distraction. Make sure they cover the key points of your lecture as well as including your contact information…business cards are easily misplaced.

6. Use visuals judiciously when necessary to convey information. Avoid overly splashy, graphic intense material that distracts from the core of your presentation. You accomplish nothing if your listeners remember the multi-colored, flashing border surrounding your illustrations but cannot recall the heart of the ideas you spoke about so passionately.

7. Remember to re-cap! Very briefly remind your listeners of the important points you want most for them to carry with them in their minds, and then close your talk on a positive note.

8. Lastly, RELAX. If you can speak to one person, you can speak to one hundred…or one thousand. You need not run from the stage in terror or be reduced to a stammering blob of protoplasm behind a microphone. Take deep breaths, trust yourself to be in this place at this time, and to speak what you need to say.

With a little forethought and a bit of practice, speaking to a group becomes an opportunity to share your ideas and motivate others without causing yourself undue stress. The average woman speaks in the neighborhood of 25,000 words per day, the average man speaks 12,000 to 15,000. Speaking any portion of those words to a specific group of individuals can be a rewarding growth experience, not to mention a boost to your business or current project!

Yes, you can “say that”!

The Pitfalls of Perfectionism

Do any of these descriptions apply to you?

• You are extremely competitive and can’t stop thinking about mistakes you have made.
• You want to either finish a task completely or not do it at all.
• You demand perfection from other people and frequently point out other people’s mistakes.
• You are self-conscious about making mistakes in front of people, and you hesitate to ask for help.
• You persist in finishing a task without stopping, even when there is no deadline requiring you to do so.

Most of us consider perfectionism to be a positive term, or at least a moderately beneficial idea. We associate it with the concepts of hard work, aggressive determination, or a desire to produce something…well, perfect. Quality is the point we are after, superior skill, excellent production, absolutely the best outcome in the pursuit of a goal. But perfectionism has a dark side, one that can cripple the individual who embraces it and bring their effectiveness to a grinding halt.

“Perfectionism” as defined by Webster is this: “a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable”. Still sounds pretty good, right? On the surface this sounds like the most excellent disposition for an entrepreneur, doesn’t it? But lurking beneath the surface is a sinister energy that will steal the productivity and render ineffective the efforts of the most honest, hard-working businessperson.

If this is how you feel about work...
You are taking things too seriously!

When an individual works under the assumption that nothing short of a perfect outcome is acceptable, they set themselves up for frustration because only rarely will such an outcome be attainable. While high and lofty goals may cause the average person to strive with greater effort, a goal dictating that “nothing less than perfect will do” negates the possibility that a lesser outcome may actually be not only acceptable but preferable in some situations. For example: If you are an author writing a piece describing the life of inner-city children growing up exposed to violence, drug use, and poverty, you may wish to employ some colorful language, or colloquial phrases to illustrate your points from those children’s Perspective. As you begin the final editing of your thought-provoking literary work, your grammar checker goes crazy and points out error after error in your sentence structure. Now, if you choose the path of perfection in your English language format, your piece is about to lose a great deal of the “punch” that it had as an expose’ of the traumatic life experiences you attempt to describe.Your only other option is to ignore the grammar correction prompts and allow your words to flow onto the paper with each and every imperfection intact, driving home the full emotional impact you had hoped to convey to your readers. In other words, the imperfections in the piece add weight to your words and imbue the images you describe with a life and power that will invoke a response in your readers. In this case, perfection would sanitize the writing and render your descriptions impotent and emotionally void.

Understandably, it could be argued that although perfectionism may be a negative concept when applied to creative pursuits, in the world of absolutes it is more beneficial than hurtful. For example:

• An accountant must be accurate to a degree approaching perfection. 
• A surgeon must not accept errors in their work.
• An air-traffic-controller dares not suggest that mistakes on his part are inconsequential.

There are professions wherein the margin for error must be so small that it approaches perfection, or disaster would be the definite result. But still there is a balance involved, a finely tuned orchestra of high and low notes that combine to enable those in such professions to sing their song without destroying their own voice. For instance:

• The accountant may boast that they have never had to endure an audit because their records are so impeccably well-documented.
• The surgeon may take extreme care to be rested and knowledgeable so that he rarely encounters a case he cannot successfully treat.
• The air-traffic-controller might have a keen eye for detail coupled with calm decision-making, so that he encounters not one dangerous incident in an entire career.

But is there a balance to these seemingly perfect performances? What do their desks look like? Are they bothered if few tiny lint bunnies propagate in the corners until they feel inclined to vacuum?These are the vital balances that enable those in “necessarily perfectionistic” roles to function in a healthy manner.

Life is all about balance...

The universe is built on balance. Newton’s third law of motion states: “To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction”. This can be applied to our perfectionistic tendencies. If your work demands that you have little to no margin for error, then at some other place in your life there must be the opportunity for blatant imperfection to be acceptable. Our accountant needs to be permitted to leave the mail in a messy pile on their desk without criticism. Our surgeon needs to be allowed to leave the magazines on their coffee table at home in a state of disarray. Our air-traffic-controller needs to be permitted to leave their cereal bowl in the sink without having a guilt complex about a messy kitchen. Why?Because these seemingly small things are the balancing factors to their otherwise perfection-demanding workplace. Perhaps these three individuals will choose something else as their “let it be less than perfect” aspect of life, but they will all, consciously or unconsciously, find or at least try to find such an outlet.

So what about the majority of us who do not live and move in quite such demanding daily environments? I know that my own work is very important, and I do strive for excellence. Most of the individuals that I know strive daily to do their best to deliver a quality product, or to perform a service as well or better than their industry competitors. This is admirable, though still in need of balance in order to be healthy.

My best example of personal perfectionism in myself has to do with the simple task of laundry. I might look at a full laundry basket and decide that I have time to wash and dry those clothes, but not to then iron, fold, and put them away. If I decide it is not worth washing and drying them because the rest of the task will have to wait, I am acting with perfectionism...getting halfway through the task is unacceptable, only completing the whole task from start to finish will do. As a result, I don’t even begin the task and I accomplish nothing. How is it advantageous to accomplish nothing, rather than at least finishing part of the task? Quite obviously, it is not advantageous and I have done nothing more than increase the workload I will have to bear at a later time.

In the workplace, I encounter this mentality on a daily basis. If I foresee that building a new PowerPoint presentation for a client will take twelve hours but I only have three hours available at the present time, I could choose to put off the project until I have twelve straight hours to work on that presentation. In all honesty that is not likely to happen, so I set myself up for failure before I even begin. Now, I could choose to begin the project, complete as much as I am able to in the time I have available, and come back to it at a later time when I can give more energy to it. I can repeat this process as many times as necessary until the project is completed without ever beating myself up over the fact that I didn’t sit down and complete the entire task all at once.

Again, it is the balance of doing what I am able to do the very best that I am able, without adding pressure and guilt to myself by placing an unattainable goal of absolute perfection on my shoulders.

What does this mean to the entrepreneur? As a whole, entrepreneurs tend to be driven, goal-oriented, “master of their own destiny” types of individuals. They like to call their own shots, make their own opportunities, and chart their own course.Unfortunately, the pitfall of perfectionism looms hidden and deadly in the paths of those who intensely forge ahead with single-minded determination. We need to recognize when we truly must reach for the prize of zero errors and landing our dart in the center of the bull’s-eye. Sometimes such accuracy is necessary and earns us success, while at other times it is a stress-inducing standard that accomplishes nothing but to designate smaller accomplishments or partially-finished projects as failures.“Doing our best” and “being a perfectionist” is not the same thing, and recognizing the difference can save us much discouragement. As entrepreneurs, we owe it to ourselves to be the best that we can be, and at the same time to recognize when what we are and what we are doing are enough.